Saigo no Sayonara
by Jolinar773
Summary: The Last Goodbye. A tribute to Ichimaru Gin and his wish that was never meant to become reality. You had gone further than any of the others ever could.


**Konnichiwa minna-san =3**

**I am very sorry for this being absolutely unrelated to the two suns of mine called Byakuya and Renji, but I just had to do it and this scene's bugging me for years. The recent events in Bleach manga finally triggered the desire to write a tribute for Ichimar Gin, whom I love from the bottom of my heart. Please, if you're not familiar with what's going on in manga this last month or so and don't want any spoilers stop right here! I'm not gonna consider any complaints because I warned you, didn't I?**

**For the rest of you please enjoy this little piece. I've shed many tears over it... pathetic as it may seem. Yeah, there's also lemon somewhere near the end... my first hetero one sooo... have mercy ^^;;;  
**

**And as usual: **

**Disclaimer - I don't own Bleach, Kubo-sensei does.**

**Please excuse any spelling mistakes you might encounter. And there are notes at the end of the chapter.  
**

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**Saigo no Sayonara**

Finally it was in his hands. He could feel it pulsing against his palm as if it was alive. Conscious. And disturbed by the touch that wasn't it's master's. The Hogyoku. The very thing he desired the moment he laid eyes on it. Because it was what _he_ had desired as well. And what Aizen Sousuke desires could only lead to fulfilling his own wish for a new world he had long since cherished within the depths of his soul. World where there was no suffering. World where things will change so that his most precious childhood friend would never need to cry. World he could make for her if only he would follow the one strong enough for him to use to get the means for his dream to become reality.

He knew he was wrong the moment he felt the Hogyoku tremble within his clenched fist. The moment that ridiculous reiatsu exploded as he used shunpo to get away from the dangerous man he had used for his own purposes – or at least he thought he did. He thought he had become a snake curled up on the man's chest, waiting to strike. And he did the moment Kamishini no Yari pierced Aizen Sousuke's chest, leaving a single little piece of the blade within his heart and the venom within would break down every single cell in his body. The plan was perfect – to prevent Kyouka Suigetu from affecting him, the only thing he had to do was to hold the blade as his own zanpakuto released and there was nothing Aizen could do to avoid it's strike. It ought to have worked. It took over a century to prepare for this single moment. It had cost his precious friend more suffering than he had ever wanted her to experience. But he was determined to make it up to her once this business was all over. To explain. To apologize.

But something went wrong. Terribly wrong. And he could see the futility of his actions as he heard that voice whispering softly and so dangerously close, his sapphire eyes could only look up into that handsome, yet frightening face and see a slight movement of thin blade through the air and his chest burst with fire. Skinny arm with long, slender fingers that had held the Hogyoku moments ago reached for the man that ought to have died from Shinsou's poison, but somehow he did not. He evolved once again. Became stronger. How could this have happened? How... but there was no point pondering about it. He knew it the instant that man grabbed his hand and tore it off with a single fluid motion, it took what felt like hours for the pain to register in his brain only second before he felt blood draining from his face and his conscience slipping away just as the life was pouring out of his mangled body, ran through by Kyouka Suigetsu once more. Drops of blood seemed to be falling from the still darkening skies as he looked up, faintly registering he was lying on his back unable to move anymore. To think. To go on living.

And as the crimson rain sprinkled his ashen skin and he remembered the day they became Shinigami he wished... wished for her to forgive him so that it could be like that one time when...

The flow of water had stopped, hand reached out from behind a hinge to grab a towel. Matsumoto wrapped herself in the soft, cuddly cotton, water still dripping from her long, blond hair onto her back and trailing down the still exposed parts of her body. She didn't bother to dry herself up. The tingling of wet drops, caressing her skin always made her feel calm for some reason. She always used to jump in and out of a lake, when she was young and then let the sun do its job, while she lay down onto a soft, green grass, waiting for the one who saved her and gave her life a meaning and who always tended to disappear without telling her a word.

The 10th Division Vice-Captain closed her eyes, unconsciously clutching her arms. She had always considered herself a strong woman, able to move on and not to dwell on the past. But today she realized that all it takes to shatter the walls of her resolve is a single look of those deep, sapphire eyes. Why does it have to hurt so much? And why had she had to remember today of all days?

„_Hey, when is your birthday, Rangiku?" Gin looked at her curiously as they had finally found a place to stay until the storm passes._

„_I don't know." the little blond girl said quietly, eyes cast down to the mortar and pestle in her hands. „I never really counted days before I met you."_

_The smile faded from boyish, round face, curtained with silver only to reappear as the perfect idea nestled itself in his mind. „Then the day you met me is your birthday."_

_This made her look up into his grinning face in surprise and concern._

„_How about that, Rangiku?"_

The 29th of September...

Matsumoto let out a sigh, the memory lingering in her mind's eye. Her room drowning in darkness, she suddenly felt lonelier than ever before. She wanted to forget all that had happened today, to lie down and let herself be swept into the dream world, leaving reality behind. Slowly, she walked towards the bed, deep in thought and her heart skipped a beat as a pair of strong arms wrapped around her and a soft breath made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

„Tadaima, Rangiku." the sound of that voice made her insides clench painfully, momentarily immobilizing her. Chilling touch of long, slim fingers trailed down the skin of her arms and up again to rest on her shoulders.

„Gin!" she finally managed, gaining control over her limbs once more. „How did you...?"

„He's got some scary stuff there, Aizen-san does." Ichimaru grinned broadly, lifting his hand to show a silver bracelet, dangling on his boney wrist. „Pretty effectively hides it's wearer's reiatsu."

Matsumoto took advantage of him holding her now with only one hand and quickly wriggled herself free, quickly reaching for Haineko, pulling the zanpakutou out with such a force, it's sheath flew over Ichimaru's head.

He caught it, preventing it from crushing into a wall behind his back. „Careful with 'at." his gaze turned again to his childhood friend and he handed the sheath over to her. „I ain't here to hurt ya, Rangiku."

„Then what ARE you here for, Ichimaru Gin?" Haineko aimed at his throat, Matsumoto knew it would be a child's play for him to disarm her even without his zanpakutou, for there was no sign of Shinsou peeking out from beneath his white robes, the more curious she was when he stood still, looking at her with those bewitching eyes and serious face. Without the ever-present grin, he looked so different. So sad.

„I've missed ya. Ain't it enough?" he said calmly, taking a careful step towards her. „And its yer birthday today." few more small steps, eyes fixed into the sky-blue ones. The tip of her sword began to tremble slightly. „I've put ya through hell, haven't I? Gomenna, Rangiku." and he embraced her, feeling the cold steel of her sword against the soft skin on his neck, though it did not cut.

Matsumoto should have known better by now and she chided herself for being so childish and weak but... she couldn't help it. Flash of memories ran through her mind and her zanpakutou hit the wooden planks under her feet. She reached out to put her hands around his neck, holding tight as though to ensure he wouldn't disappear as he lifted her into his arms and flash-stepped away.

Evening breeze, still warm and light made her long, blond hair fly willy-nilly over her shoulders, eyes and back as she watched his earnest face, aimed somewhere to the darkening horizon. Mild fragrance filled her nostrils, it felt so nostalgic. Rangiku never found out why there was always a scent of lavender around him, though mixed sometimes a little with something like blood. For her the smell simply was Gin. She nestled against his chest, taking in every little bit of his being by her side again. She didn't know why, but she felt save with him.

„Where are we going?" the quiet question left her mouth without thinking, because she was sure that he would never take her away from Soul Society had she not wished for it herself.

Ichimaru wrapped his arms around her more firmly, landing neatly on every other rooftop before using shunpo again to disappear within a split second, lowering the chances of them being seen.

„Paradise." he answered after a while, again grin spreading over his pale mien.

However puzzled, Rangiku gave up asking for details, he wouldn't tell her anyway. She knew that expression of his too well and from past experience it only ever appeared in the happiest of her memories of life in Rukongai.

Her eyes went oddly blank as she delved into the world of memories and he was aware of it, but didn't ask. Since the day they met she always kept silent about most things bothering her, perhaps out of fear of being a nuisance to him, but he had always wished her to know it was alright to be at least a little bit selfish once in a while. He had wished for her to know that he did all of this for her. So that she would be happy in the world he would create for her... for them because he had cost her much over the years and he regretted it since, for it was he who was afraid after all. Afraid of being chained. Afraid of having feelings for someone else. When they were young, he often left without so much as a word and every time he did so, part of him had hoped that she would be gone by the time he comes back. But she had always been there, waiting for him and he couldn't help but being grateful for that. For having someone to return to. But the responsibility coming hand-in-hand with the developing relationship scared the hell out of him. But not anymore.

Finally, Gin's feet settled on the soft, tingling blades of grass on the edge of a cliff, overseeing maze of buildings and streets of Rukongai district of Junrinan. It was nothing like those kinds of Kusajishi, Zaraki or Inuzuri, where the only color amongst the shades of gray was the crimson of blood, running almost literally through the streets. The view here showed neat little houses and fairly content inhabitants, going about their business while there still was at least a little bit of purple and tangerine daylight left, though it disappeared quickly, replaced by garlands of stars shining like diamonds in the great sea of indigo dominated by crescent moon the color of ivory.

Rangiku shivered in his arms and he put her down, throwing his snow-white haori over her shoulders. Only now he realized, that except the tiny cotton towel wrapped around her body, she was completely naked.

Her eyes opened wide as she huddled into the silky, warm cloth and looked around. Behind their backs the humming of water increased or decreased in volume depending on the strength of its flow, filling a small pond and running further into the depths of a cavern, hidden behind a curtain of crushing waves. The grass here was unbelievably green and alive, although there was barely enough of it for three people to comfortably spend the night. Mountain wall on one side, worn away by rushing waterfall, steep slope everywhere else - there was nowhere to run. She remembered this place. They discovered it years ago while running with stolen food from the pursuing crowd of Junrinan, finding a suitable hideout inside a tiny cavern. And while the hunters were waiting for their prey to come out, young Rangiku and Gin climbed up the steep, wet rocks, struggling through tight slippery aisles, eventually finding this place high above the dangerous area and deep below the mountain's top. From that moment on, they kept returning here now and then and it became their own personal paradise whenever there was a need to escape the reality.

But it has been so long...

„Gin, this is..." she held her breath and he wrapped his arms around her again as they looked down at the orange, red, blue, yellow and green lights blinking like thousands of opening eyes, illuminating the streets of Junrinan and with a swish and a boom, one of those lights zoomed into the air and scattered in fountain of colors high in the darkened skies.

The firework season has long since ended, but it didn't seem to bother those below. And it certainly didn't matter to the two people perched on the edge of their little paradise, watching the numerous missiles explode and their iridescent remnants fade away on their way back to the ground.

„Happy birthday, Rangiku." Ichimaru breathed into her ear and the emotions reflecting in his face and voice were sincere and genuine.

And she wanted to respond to it, because she couldn't deny what has been building up within her heart from the moment he became a part of her life.

The kiss was tender and soft, only a brief touch of lips against lips. And he answered by leaning into it, prolonging the sweet pleasure, adding his own demands.

Fully aware of what she was doing and the consequences of her actions and choosing to ignore the warning bells in the back of her mind, Rangiku moaned softly in their mingled breaths, her tongue slipping past his to explore the depths of his mouth. Slowly, they descended into the soft, wet grass; Gin lying on his back, blond beauty straddling him, looking deep into the now rarely fully opened sapphire eyes.

„How is it that you always know when to come back?" she breathed into his lips.

„I like to call it my special ability." a small smirk decorated his features as he said it.

„Oh?" letting her hair tickling his face, Rangiku inclined her head. „Then maybe there's more where that came from?"

„Definitely."

And fascinated by her sky-blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight and colorful rainbows of still happily crackling fireworks, Ichimaru let himself forget about everything else except the woman above him. His palm slipped along her cheek and fingers ran through the slowly drying hair, halting to cup the back of her neck and drag her down for another harsh, lustful kiss, while his free hand caressed the skin on her shoulders, sneaking along the collarbone into her bosom, until the knot of the cotton towel came undone, leaving her full curvaceous body beautifully exposed.

Deepening the kiss, Rangiku let her mind slip away completely, beginning to take his clothes off piece by piece, concentrating fully on every single stroke of their tongues, her lips puffy and burning, breathing shallow and rapid. She wanted him like she had never wanted anything else in her life and the fact that he was now an enemy only boosted the pleasure of having him only to herself, even if it was just for tonight.

With a yank, she freed him from the constriction of the white fabric of arrancar shihakusho and threw the troublesome pieces of clothing away. Gripping his hips between her thighs, she leaned over once again, breasts brushing against his chest.

Gin used his weight to shove her over, joyfully burying his face in her voluptuous bosom. His hands slid down along her shoulder blades when she arched, responding to him sucking and licking her perked nipples with the dedication of an artist, creating a life gen work and stopped just below her breasts, resting on her sides. Thumbs joined his tongue for a moment before he moved south, leaving a wet trail down her stomach, palms copying the outline of her hips. And while his mouth paused to circle and kiss the belly button, hands continued further along her abdomen and slipped between her thighs.

Fingernails dug into the soil, soft moan escaped from her throat and her body bucked as he slowly spread her legs, rolling his tongue over the inner thighs and a soft spot in her lap before slipping inside, taking in full of her sweet nectar. He drank like a man finding a spring after an eternity of wandering a desert, pausing only long enough to catch a breath or make a better use of his nimble fingers. Short, excited groans and gasps echoed in his ears like the most beautiful of songs. Soon, however, it wasn't enough to just listen to the soft sounds of pleasure he was giving her as he became painfully aware of his own pressing need, building up in his crotch. With a last sweep of the tongue and thrust of fingers, Gin pulled back to look into Rangiku's flushed face. Her forehead sprinkled with sweat, eyes were dilated with desire, and only a thin rim of deep sky-blue remained on the edges.

Straightening up on his knees, he moved higher, palms tenderly caressing her hips and thighs before he heaved her legs over his shoulders and leaned over to see if there was any hesitation. The last thing he would want now was to do something she wouldn't be comfortable with. However all doubts have been swept away a long time ago and her hands reached out to crawl up his arms and trail over his chest, along the ribs down to his midsection, encircling the belly button and following a thin silver line of hair to wrap around the thick, burning erection. It twitched and he let out a hoarse sigh, head bowed. She gave it a few tentative strokes, sweeping away a single bead of precum, leaking out of its tip and satisfied with her findings she led him into her lap.

He slid inside easily, though only a little bit at first to enjoy the hot wetness enclosing around him. An audible groan left her parted lips as he pushed forward, very slowly, taking in the exquisite pleasure of being devoured and she hungrily arched against his pressing hips. After that, there was no need for further invitation to start moving, settling for a steady, rhythmical pace – not too quick and not too slow. With every thrust, he provided the lyrics and she made the music and together they combined them to a symphony of the most natural, yet slighted, sometimes most painful, yet beautiful of all earthly pleasures. She called out his name and again and again and he ignored the little drops of sweat, falling from his forehead onto her smooth tanned skin, increasing the speed as he felt climax drawing dangerously close. And then, without a warning, her legs went stiff and slid from his shoulders and she pushed him away.

Not expecting it, Gin stumbled and fell backwards only to look confused for a single moment before the blonde jumped at him, settling on his lap to continue what he had started, claiming his lips for her own with vicious, violent passion, their tongues entwined in wordless discourse of lust and desire.

The momentary distraction offered a welcome opportunity to prolong the pleasure and it wasn't until the sky had gone completely black and wind started howling, making Matsumoto shiver as she now stood on all fours, head bowed between her shoulders, blond hair curtaining the flush of her cheeks, huffing and moaning and heaving back and forth from the force of his thrusting into her, bent slightly over her back, hands gripping firmly her round bottom. Final deep thrust. Last audible cry any of them had no chance of preventing and he felt her tighten around him and she felt a hot, nurturing stream filling her up and breathless and panting they both descended to the tingling, silky grass and for a moment just laid there, nuzzling against each other in the afterglow of their coupling.

„Gin, I..." Rangiku spoke quietly, lifting her head from his chest. Two slender fingers rested upon her lips, silencing her.

„We should head back, before someone gets suspicious." the lack of his usual accent surprised her and made her get up and obediently and put on the white haori he gave her earlier.

Ichimaru dressed up quickly and for a few more moments just stood in front of her on the very edge of the cliff where they sat, watching fireworks not so long ago and he thought hard about many things. He came here because he couldn't take it anymore. Now the reasons he had used to justify opening the Garganta on his own volition, exploiting the chaos now ruling over Hueco Mundo with the upcoming Winter War seemed more and more feeble and pathetic the more he kept repeating them in his head. And once he came out here with the intention to see what was going on in Soul Society and maybe to silently watch the only friend he had abandoned, Gin couldn't but succumb to the very thing he dreaded the most. And he couldn't possibly tell her the truth either. Aizen would know. He always knows. And she would be in danger. But what to tell her then? How to respond to those thousands of questions, sparkling in those fathomless eyes? How can he leave again without ultimately breaking her heart... and his own along with it? He might have been a serpent without emotions, however convincing everyone around him couldn't make it true to himself, however hard he tried.

_This was yer plan all along, Aizen-taichou, wasn't it? Ta break the least remnants o' who I was, so that ya can possess the shell ya made outta me_._ I hate ya so fuckin' much._

A flicker of pain shot across his no-longer-smiling mien as he lifted her into his arms once again and disappeared.

Matsumoto fell asleep -or so it seemed to Gin- as they were passing Noble's Quarter of Seireitei. He cradled her lovingly, watching for a while and with a few more uses of shunpo they had landed in front of her room within the 10th Division barracks. Pink and violet tinted the waning sky, ushering in the coming of dawn. Silently, not to wake her up, he closed the shoji door behind him with one foot and set her down onto the bed. Leaning over her, watching the chest heaving and the lips trembling, his fingers reached to brush away a single strand of hair from her closed eyelids and then he straightened up and left, while still able to do so. She belonged here, in Seireitei, where she was happy. Where she _will_ be happy, he knew, even without him. Especially without him. At least until he can obtain what he knew will bring smile upon those beautiful features and wash away sadness so frequently lining her face. Soon...

o.O.o

Hitsugaya Toushirou couldn't get rid of the uneasiness that seemed to have taken a liking in resting within the depth of his soul and it had nothing to do with the coming of the Winter War or the condition of his dear childhood friend Hinamori, now lying within the 4th Division on the verge of death.

He let out a deep sigh, aquamarine eyes sweeping the surroundings. This was the way to the 10th Division office. Well, why not. At least he can get some of his Vice-Captain's paperwork done before the whole of Seireitei wakes up and the usual annoying buzzing of voices and strides will make it impossible to concentrate. Matsumoto hated spending even a little part of the day behind a desk and somehow he had never been able to force her to actually sit down and at least skim through the forms piling up on her desk with each passing day. And he had already given up trying, besides occasional yelling and berating her.

Hitsugaya stopped in his tracks abruptly as if someone slapped him, eyes wide with shock as a figure passed by. He saw a flash of silver, wide grin spread over pale fox-like face and felt a brush of white fabric against his shoulder. For a second the time had stopped and Hitsugaya turned his head to look into mischievous, seemingly constantly closed eyes. But when he turned around, there was nobody there nor could he feel any traces of reiatsu. But he _knew_ what he saw. He was sure that man _had _just been here. And then it came to him - Matsumoto! And he sped up, bursting head-first into his Vice-Captain's room just around the corner...

... and narrowly missing a pillow flying in his direction, passing only inches from his left cheek. Toushirou blinked and looked to the direction of the attack. Matsumoto laid on her side, arm she had used to throw the pillow clinging over the edge of the bed, face buried within the white bed sheets, the visible upper part of her body trembling slightly. Hitsugaya made a few steps towards her and she looked up and the sight frightened him. She wasn't crying, but her eyes seemed blank and haunted. He felt the blood boiling in his veins the more he looked at her ravished body and he knew precisely what had happened and why had he been unable to sleep tonight.

„ICHIMARU!" Hitsugaya roared but before he could storm out to beat the shit out of that damned fox-faced bastard a hand grabber his wrist and he whirled about, alarmed, only to look back into those frightening eyes, now reflecting deep regret, grief and unspoken plea.

„Moushiwake arimasen, taichou." Matsumoto said so quietly he could barely hear her. „I have failed you. Administer any punishment you deem necessary, but _please_ do not tell anyone about him. _Please, taichou._"

The look she was giving him, the voice she was speaking with made Hitsugaya Toushirou freeze to the bone. He wanted to hunt Ichimaru Gin down and slit his throat for what he had done to her, but he saw the truth in her eyes and knew she had given herself up to that man willingly and that she still loved him from the depths of her heart and despite what it seemed now, last night held the happiest and the most cherished memories of her life. And he found himself unable to say no to that desperate plea as well as punish the single act on the feelings in her heart.

And up above their heads on the rooftop of the 10th Division barracks a black gaping maw opened up against the dawning sky and Ichimaru Gin stepped through it, Hitsugaya's voice still ringing in his ears. That pillow should have hit him, instead of the small Captain. He knew Rangiku was crying as he left her room before meeting him. However she wouldn't ask where he was going. She never did. But soon, there will be no need for her to spill any more tears over his stupidity. Soon, he will make a paradise just for her.

For the last time Gin looked back at the burning skies above the Soukyoku Hill, where the sun was slowly rising to announce the coming of a new day, setting the horizon ablaze.

„Gomenna, Rangiku..."

He could hear her voice calling out his name as if from very far away. His body hurt. He couldn't move.

_Rangiku..._

His limbs wouldn't listen. He felt numb and cold and a ferric taste of blood filled his mouth, threatening to suffocate him.

_It didn't work. _

She was crying and Gin could feel the hot drops of her tears mixing with blood as it descended upon his ashen face.

_In the end I couldn't get back what was taken from you. _

Again her broken cry pierced his heart. But there was nothing he could do to stop it. He knew it, for he felt the life pouring out of the corner of his lips as well as the gashed chest and what had once been an arm at such an alarming rate there was no helping him now. And he felt he deserved what was coming to him. Without him, there will be no more reasons for her to cry.

_I'm glad I said sorry._

And with a tremendous effort Gin forced his eyes open to look at her for the last time. But she was looking somewhere behind her back. And he followed her eyes to see a boy standing there on top of what had been a building just moments ago. Kurosaki Ichigo. And his eyes were upon them and bronze met sapphire for the fleetest of moments. The time seemed to have stopped for Ichimaru as he gazed in to those depths.

_Yeah. Those are strong eyes._

Confidence. Strength. Courage. Willpower. He could see it all within the boy he had fought what seemed like a lifetime ago. None of it wasn't there at that time. But now...

_Good. In that case..._

He felt drained. His eyes could remain open no longer. The thin thread of will still binding him to life was slowly stretching to a breaking point. It couldn't support his heart, couldn't keep it beating. But now he knew he doesn't need to cling to it anymore.

_I can leave and entrust this to you._

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**Dekimashita. I've used the actual quotation from Bleach manga in Ichimaru's thoughts here at the end as well as in Rangiku's memory so that it makes sense, but the rest of it is purely ma work. Hope you enjoyed it, please review, your voices are very important to me :)**

**Notes:**

**Saigo no Sayonara - The Last Goodbye**

**Tadaima - I'm home**

**Gomenna - I'm sorry**

**Moushiwake arimasen - ****My deepest apology**** (very polite speech) - didn't know how to express such politeness in english  
**


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